Don't call it a comeback!

Well, it's been a couple weeks since last I entertained you fine people. I've decided to take a break from the weekly updates and just 'be' for a while. I was beginning to over think my recovery and get frustrated at times. Sometimes you gotta let go to find what you're looking for.

A fellow 'spiney' friend of mine who has problems with his back that dwarf mine, asked me recently if I felt like the surgery was a success at this stage. I told him an emphatic NO. But not for the reasons he suspected. I set very a very high standard for my recovery. I was active on a fairly high level, and determined before surgery that anything less than returning to my former active life would be unacceptable. Some people might say that's unrealistic, but that's the deal I made with myself and that's what continues to drive me. Admittedly, it's a tad arrogant. But I can live with that.

With that said, do I have any regrets? An equally as emphatic NO. I'm not going to judge the failure or success of my surgery for a long time. Until then it's a work in progress measured by varying degrees of improvement. Things are advancing and my mobility is far better today than it was a month ago. I did 50 stomach crunches this morning during rehab and didn't feel any pain. That is serious progress. And bending over to touch my toes doesn't scare me any longer. I'm not even close to touching them yet, but I'm getting there. I still have a constant nagging pressure and tightness in my low back, but the sharp pains completely receded and I'm walking around like Tony Manero again. I'm beginning to feel human, but not until I'm back in the saddle, single-speeding up some rocky mountain, any mountain, will I declare this little episode in my life a rousing success.

But I've been using my downtime to reconnect with friends. I spent the day recently with my old friend Leigh, who I haven't seen in years and someone I have long considered one of my favorite people. One day with Leigh and all my problems are sorted out and I'm ready to attack life again.

Hey Matt...jealous!?

I'm planning a road trip to the Bay Area next week to visit friends and do a little recon for my next phase. My days in sunny Southern California are coming to a close and it's time I start planning my exit strategy. My goal is to be out of this berg by the end of August, my body willing of course. My days have been filled with rehab and reflection, but it's time I start thinking about where I might find myself next. Southern California is a nice place to visit, but I sure as hell don't want to live here. And 7 months is about 6 months too long for this cranky old man.

I'm finally excited about my future for the first time in a while, which is a far cry from where I've been. I still struggle with being patient. But daily meditation has helped tremendously with allowing my mind to simply slow down and accept the moment for what it is. Life is impermanence. Everything changes, the good and the not so good. Nothing remains static. So I try to find that balance between the ebb and flow of life and realize that this moment in time is just a small blip in my lifetime. And an even smaller blip in the greater picture. 

I hope you're all well and enjoying life! Stay thirsty my friends!