3 months post op - Magic Time!

So, based on other disc replacement patients I've spoken with, the three month mark seems to be when most people start feeling like they're turning the corner. Now I had allowed myself to start feeling good about my progress around week 6, then around week 8 things went all cockeyed. So call me superstitious, but I'm not gonna start doing any cartwheels just yet when I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Because it just might be a freight train.

But...

About 4 days ago I did start feeling noticeably better. And each day since I've experienced improvements in mobility and my overall wellbeing. Maybe the meditation has something to do with it, who knows. I'm not throwing any parties yet, but I do feel better. So I celebrated my 3 month mark with my cousin by getting a happy buzz at happy hour in Venice.

Cheers!

My flexibility is returning, and my piriformis is getting much more limber. The numbness and tingling in my left leg has all but disappeared and my strut is getting back in full Saturday Night Fever mode. I was supposed to meet with my doc today to go over my 3 month xrays, but he had to reschedule till Thursday. I know my body well enough to say I'm ready to start tackling stairs again and reboot my rehab program. But I plan to slowly integrate more movement into my program and keep close tabs on how I respond. My lumber and thoracic seem to tighten up when I walk more than a couple miles, but seems to remain in check. The disjointed feeling I experienced in my hips and sacrum area has died down, which was my main concern.

So all is good for the moment. But I know how quickly things can change on a dime, and I'm appreciating each step forward right now.

Celebrities seem to be coming out of the woodwork lately. I ran into Chris Bell, the filmmaker behind, 'Bigger, Stronger, Faster'. It's a documentary about steroids and performance enhancing drugs. Great movie. I spoke with him briefly and told him how much I enjoyed his film. Nice guy who really seems to appreciate when people give him props.

And seated across from me while eating a mile high pastrami sandwich at Jerry's Deli in Marina Del Rey was adult entertainment performer, Janine Lindemulder. She's a little hard to miss seeing as how she's covered in colorful ink, and looks pretty damn good if I must say so.

Otherwise the recovery train keeps rolling along. My beer buzz is starting to wear off and I think it's time for bed. 

Goodnight my friends! 

Marinate on that!

A few weeks ago I mentioned a guy I'd seen in the park meditating for well over an hour. Completely motionless, sitting bolt upright like a statue. It was impressive, and something I aspire towards, if even to merely taste what he experiences for a moment.

For the past week I've been attempting to meditate. Having no real baseline, I simply sit for as long as my back will allow and try to clear my thoughts. Much easier said than done. I started with 5 minutes, then 10, and today was able to enjoy 15 minutes of clear-minded cogitation. There are these blue, curved metal benches at the beach that are far more comfortable than they appear. And each morning I walk to these benches and attempt to clear my mind. But the hardest part isn't the act of sitting, so much as allowing myself to 'be'. But today I felt myself slowly collapse into a state of relaxation I haven't experienced in some time.

With my eyes closed I soak in each sound - singing birds, barking dogs, feet gliding along the path in front of me. And I give each sound an opportunity to enter, swim around in my mind, then slowly exit as they find a new audience. As these sounds become part of the background I feel myself relaxing further, until I begin feeling nothing. No care or worry. No desire. No need or want.

A friend of mine sent me a quote from a Buddhist teacher and author named Pema Chadron. This quote resinated with me, and found me at a time when my confidence has been less than resolute. But I need to view the past year of my life as another in a series of "endless opportunities to start to do things differently."

Peace out bean sprouts!

Week 12 post op - This speech is my recital, I think it's very vital

I seem to have plateaued recently. This week saw no real change, but that's not necessarily bad news. The broken toe is doing well enough that I can walk normally and push off my foot with near full force, but I'm still taking it very easy. I haven't increased my walking output, and will continue to pace myself for another week when I see the doc for my three month check up. 

I had dinner with a friend of mine at her mountain side estate over looking Los Angeles and was able to toss around a baseball with her young son. I wasn't exactly shagging flies like the Say Hey Kid, but it did feel good to move in something vaguely reminiscent of my active days. While each toss of the ball caused me to stiffen up in preparation of the lightning bolts of pain, all I felt was the ever present burning in my low back that I can't seem to shake.

My tolerance for sitting has improved slightly. I was able to sit long enough to watch Godzilla destroy San Francisco without wanting to put a bullet in my head, so that's good news. Or maybe it was just the calming effect of seeing San Francisco being leveled by a giant CGI lizard that soothed my back. Either way, it wasn't an unpleasant experience.

Celebrity sighting of the week - While in line at a local health food restaurant I saw none other than Mr. Def Jam himself, Russell Simmons. He was quite pleasant and took photos with anyone who asked. A woman next to me asked who he was. I explained to her that he's a big shot music producer, founder of Def Jam, fashion icon, etc. She had no idea who he was. But apparently seeing other people ask for a photo made her feel he was famous so she asked for a photo as well. I was afraid to mention Run DMC to her because I would have gotten all kinds of angry if she gave me a look that said, 'Who?'

Anyways, I'm creeping up on the magic three month mark. I had some lofty goals by this time, and I haven't met most of them. Looks like I'll need to retrench and come up with a new, more realistic plan of attack for the next three months. 

Until then, burn the candle at both ends, my friends!

Week 11 post op - I'd like to hear some funky Dixieland

Pretty mama, come and take me by the hand, by the hand

OK, I know I put LA on blast...a lot. But when the weather is warm and the sun is slowly descending over the Pacific and you're sipping a beer on the Venice boardwalk while a band of musicians play the Doobie Brothers, things don't suck.

My supremely talented cousin, Fanny

I can't complain too much when I can sit in relative comfort and enjoy a beer with my cuz at the beach. Things are steadily improving. The numbness in my left leg and foot have faded into a slow trickle. I'm still taking it very easy, and will continue to follow doctors orders for another couple weeks. Luckily the broken left pinky toe keeps me honest, so even if I wanted to attack the Santa Monica stairs I could only stand at the base and watch other people have all the fun.

I'm doing a daily series of very simple postural exercises to help improve my pitiful stance and walking around 3-5 miles a day. I'm getting back on track in terms of my strut and figure I can reboot my rehab exercises in a couple weeks. For my loyal followers, I apologize for limiting my posts to once a week, but I'm not feeling the need to share much these days since my day to day has become rather uninteresting. Once I ramp up with the training I'll bore you to tears with every little victory.

I'm still experiencing a constant and nagging burning along my sacrum and the tightness in my back is more of an annoyance than anything else. I haven't felt any sharp or electrical pains in a while, but the sensation that there is a foreign object in my spine remains. Again, it's hard to describe, but I can feel the disc. I have a hunch this sensation is going to take a while to dissipate on it's own before it takes a few beers to eliminate completely.

So, to sum up. Progress. Patience. Pilsner.

Holla!

Week 10 post op - This little piggy went wee, wee, wee...

Here we are, a few weeks shy of the magic three month mark. Not where I was hoping to be, but I need to admit to myself that I set my bar fairly high. I can't really gauge my progress in days at the moment, more like weeks. Since I was making big strides early on it's difficult to take a step back. I'm not built to sit and spectate. It's just not in my DNA. But I'm reluctantly sticking to this whole rest thing. Seriously, how do couch potatoes do it!?

But when I take an honest look at my current state I can't deny that I'm feeling better than I was two weeks ago when I fell off the proverbial cliff. My back is constantly tight, with some lovely burning around my SI joints, but those pesky electrical shocks haven't returned. The numbness in my left leg and foot have subsided a bit. It's not nearly as white hot as it was, but it's still lingering, like a half-starved hyena skulking around a stripped-clean elephant corpse in the Serengeti trying to keep the jackals at bay.

I did sustain a new injury that is probably a blessing in disguise now that I've had time to think about it. I slipped down some steps over the weekend and my left foot got wedged in the stair railing and snapped my damn pinky toe! So even if I wanted to go for a hike I'm now forced to take it easy with a new fracture to add to my lifetime collection of over 30 broken bones. Maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something. I can still walk around, just not with quite as much vigor. I figure it'll take another few weeks before I can really push off the toe with any real force. Kind of convenient how that coincides with the three month mark? Coincidence my ass! Damn you, Universe!

But enough about my sedentary existence. I'd rather talk about my visit with the woman who has been occupying space in a corner of my mind for the past 23 years. It's amazing how certain people can stop time. The past couple of decades felt like they had never happened the moment I saw her. Spending time with her is effortless, so perfectly natural. She's the kind of person you can't help but be drawn towards. Strangers find themselves talking with her as comfortably as they would an old friend. She simply has a way of making you feel happy to be in her presence. Needless to say, I smiled more in the 4 days I spent with her than I have in the past 4 months. And now that corner of my mind has expanded to accommodate the overflowing ocean that are my thoughts of her.

To love and healing! Can't have one without the other.